Turn Worries Into Wins: Helping Your Child Transform Anxiety Into Actionable Steps
As a child therapist based in Cardiff and specialising in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), I often meet parents who are concerned about their child’s growing anxiety. It’s becoming increasingly common – whether it’s related to school, friendships, social media or simply the pressure to succeed. The truth is, anxiety isn’t always a problem in itself. In fact, when channelled constructively, it can be a powerful signal that something needs attention.
One of the most empowering things we can do for our children is help them articulate their worries —to name them, understand them and most importantly, learn what to do with them. That’s where the power of NLP and therapeutic conversation comes in.
Worry Without Words: The Silent Struggle
Children, especially younger ones, often don’t have the vocabulary or confidence to express what they’re feeling. What shows up instead is irritability, clinginess, tummy aches, sleep problems or even outbursts. Beneath those behaviours lies unspoken anxiety.
Recently, I worked with an 11-year-old girl from a suburb of Cardiff, whose parents brought her in due to increasing anger at home and reluctance to go to school. Through gentle NLP questioning and metaphor work, we discovered that she was deeply worried about falling behind in maths and feeling “stupid” compared to her peers. These worries were tangled in her head with no clear beginning or end — so they simply turned into overwhelm.
From Vague Fears to Clear Steps
Here’s how we worked together using NLP strategies:
- Externalising the Problem
First, I helped her separate herself from the worry using a drawing activity. She drew her “Worry Monster” and gave it a silly name. Suddenly, anxiety wasn’t a part of her — it was something she could look at, talk to and ultimately, shrink. - Asking Empowering Questions
Instead of asking “Why are you anxious?”, which often results in “I don’t know,” I asked:- “What does the Worry Monster say to you?”
- “What would you like to say back?””
- Chunking Down
NLP teaches us to break large, overwhelming thoughts into manageable chunks. We explored what exactly was hard about maths. She realised it wasn’t all of maths , just fractions. That clarity allowed her to ask her teacher for help. One small action began to break the cycle of anxiety.
Why This Matters in Today’s World
In Cardiff, we are seeing a significant rise in anxiety, particularly post-pandemic. Social pressures, academic expectations and digital overstimulation are taking a toll on children’s mental health. As parents, it can feel like you’re constantly reacting, trying to make things better without really knowing where to start.
What I’ve learned is this is that when children can name their fear, they can tame it. When they learn they have choices, even small ones, they start regaining control.
A Simple Parent Strategy
You don’t have to be a therapist to support your child in this way. Try this 3-step NLP-based strategy at home:
- Create a Safe “Worry Space”
Designate a time and place each day (perhaps bedtime or after school) to ask, “Did any worries pop up today?” Give them full permission to share without rushing to solve. - Visualise and Externalise
Invite your child to draw or describe their worry. Ask, “If this worry had a colour or shape, what would it be?” This helps them view it with curiosity, not fear. - Action It
Say, “What’s one small thing we can do about this?” Guide them to think in steps. Even if the first step is simply writing it down or speaking to an adult, that’s progress.
Real-Life Transformation
Going back to the 11 year old mentioned earlier, by week five of our sessions, she was initiating discussions with her teacher when she felt stuck and her school attendance improved. Her parents also reported fewer meltdowns and a lighter, more confident attitude.
It’s moments like these that make therapy so powerful, not because it’s magic, but because it teaches children that they are not powerless in the face of anxiety.
Empowerment Over Perfection
We can’t protect our children from every anxious thought. But what we can do is teach them that they’re capable of responding to those thoughts in a way that feels manageable, even empowering. Mental health isn’t about avoiding hard feelings; it’s about building tools to work through them.
As someone who’s worked with many children across Cardiff, I can tell you—this approach works. With NLP, we give children the language, strategies, and mindset to face challenges with courage and clarity.
So next time your child seems overwhelmed, take a moment. Invite the worry out of their head and into the open. You may just find that it’s smaller and more solvable than it seemed.
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